I want to talk, for a little while, about panic. I want to talk about it, because sometimes there may be a situation in which you don't know what to do, in whatever form, and this thing inside you starts bubbling up out of nowhere and changes the way you feel, the way you think, and in particularly intense situations the way you speak, hear, see, move, or perceive information. It's terrifying, and it's supposed to be because it's a biological mechanism our body uses to alert us to a dangerous situation.
We all react differently, some of us lash out, some of us cry, some fight, some run, and some of us totally freeze on the spot.
None of these responses are wrong. They are yours, they are personal, and they are how you deal with panic. Often times there isn't anything you can do about it.
When you are in such a state of sensory overload your auto-pilot takes over, and unless you are particularly skilled it is very difficult to pull yourself out of that mode of thinking.
If you are reading this and you are able to just "snap out of it", to pull yourself out of that panicking mindset and react to the frightening situation accordingly, then you are doing a fantastic job. You are very skilled, very powerful, and I hope you never lose that and continue to use it to your advantage.
However, you must understand that not everyone is like you. Panic is overwhelming, it's supposed to be, it's supposed to burn the thought of everything but the most important things to you in that moment out of your mind. Not everyone is able to override that, and it does not mean they deserve to be berated or called 'weak'. 'stupid', or 'useless'. They don't have the tools you do. If you can dig a hole with a shovel, and someone else can't do it with their bare hands they're not weak, they don't have a shovel.
Really, if they can dig half as well as you can with their bare hands, they may just be stronger than you.
If you are reading this and you don't have those mental tools that allow you to deal with panic I don't ever want you to think of yourself as weak. I will say there are responses that can leave you in a much more vulnerable position than others, and that sucks and it isn't your fault. What you should do once you are aware of the danger you may potentially end up in is seek professional help. They will give you those tools, give you that shovel for digging, and not only that but teach you how to use it too.
Also, being able to go out and seek help when you need it is a sign of infinite strength, and if you can push through the nervous worries of 'what if I can't get the help' or 'what if they say there isn't anything wrong with me' and 'what if I am just a terrible person' then, well, you're on your way to being able to manage panic in the same way. It won't be overnight, but you'll get there and you will be getting stronger along the way, and I say stronger because you were already strong to begin with.
That is my main plea for today: don't ever forget that you are strong and don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not.
You are living feeling like the world is on your shoulders and you have to try harder than everyone else,
but you're still living, and you're still trying.