And Love Will Make The Flowers...

In week five of my Mindfulness journey, I planted some seeds (link here). It was part of a "habit releasing" exercise, getting me to try something new and do it mindfully by using all five senses to really experience it. I enjoyed the moment itself, found it relaxing, and I've been using the time I now take to water our garden as a moment of peace.

The flowers themselves are actually starting to really come along.


I've been watching them grow slowly over the past few weeks, and not really realising that actually, hey, these things started off as a bunch of little seeds and I helped them grow. It's only a little accomplishment, but it's something physical to show for some work I've done.
 I planted these seeds over two months ago, and in that time I've had ups and downs. Things have changed, flowers have grown, I've said yes to things, like putting my work and myself out there for criticism by entering things into competitions and never winning but always learning. I've been working hard, making decisions and have changes in my life coming upon the horizon because of that.

 Sad things have happened, like the ending of a relationship and the loss of a family member. Good things have happened like work getting less difficult and having more time to spend with friends. I've been working on my health, reading, saying yes to scary things, feeling more inspired to make more life changes. I've made some bad decisions too, and had some terrible, gut-wrenching days where I feel like I'm drowning.


The point is I've been feeling stagnant. I've been feeling like I'm this big mouth talking about how great being mindful is and how important it is to seek help when I still haven't called IAPT and I'm still having bad days and I still haven't completely flipped my world around to perfection. The flowers are reminding me than I have accomplished things, have things left to accomplish, and above all I have to do things at a reasonable pace. It's my anxiety talking to me and telling me that everything has to be fixed RIGHT NOW or else it will never be fixed.

Like flowers growing, it takes time

Like flowers growing, it needs work and cultivation and regular attention

Like flowers growing, some of it just happens organically with time passing.

For those of you who are suffering in any which way, having bad days or feeling like your life isn't changing fast enough I want you to think back two months or so and list all the things that have happened to you in that time to give yourself some perspective. Not only that, but list your goals. If you've done at least one thing counting towards achieving those goals then give yourself a pat on the back because you're moving forward.

I also want to give a quick special handful of love to all ethnic minorities who may be reading this blog. I just found out that this month is actually Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, and for a lot of minority groups the subject of mental health is something that often goes unaddressed. It's swept under the rug, not talked about, and often people that think they may be depressed or just want to seek help to better themselves are told to "get over it", for varied cultural reasons.

Just know that you're not wrong for feeling like you can't cope on your own, for feeling off or down. There are people, like me, who support you, and if you're strong enough to either admit you have an issue, or big enough to not shame those who have issues, we can change and cultivate and grow a new perspective on mental health for our communities.





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