My 2017 Meditation

breathe
"Breathe" by Dasha Levchuk via Flickr


Breathe in. 

Today's post is simple. Full of calm. Because I am not feeling my best, and you may not be either.

Breathe out. 

I have spent the past few months learning about myself, my flaws and my shortcomings.

Breathe in.

I have spent the past few months figuring out the easiest ways to love myself, to seek happiness.

Breathe out. 

I've discovered there's no easy way.

Breathe in. 

Breathe out. 

Breathe in. 

Breathe out. 

This year, my blog will be focused on two things in particular: introspection, and obtaining new knowledge. I'm going to be doing a lot of reading, a lot of learning. Attempting to know myself and know the world around me in a more complete way.

Breathe in. 

I've been so sad and angry over the past year, but I have also been very happy. I've also been very loved, and very drunk, and very kissed, and most of all I've been very scared.

Breathe out. 

That's difficult to admit, but it's the truth. I've been very scared, and it's made me dishonest with myself and how I've been feeling. But it's much easier to

Breathe in.

And

Breathe out. 

When I just admit things to myself. Fear makes me a liar. Fear of what people say, what they think, of what's lurking in my brain and the fear that it's all true. But then it occurs to me that all of you may be fearing the same things I am, and this blog is for you as well as me.

So I've started meditating more frequently, and drummed up the courage to be more honest with myself and to start learning more about who I am. Everyone reading this is welcome on that journey with me, but first we must: Breathe in. 

Jacqueline Atta-Hayford